he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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