Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
