3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
