Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
