so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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