i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
