spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
