I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
