I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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