Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
