I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
