Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
