Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
