All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
