Quick, to the slutcave!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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