at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
