why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
