Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
