the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
