His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
