Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
