im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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