im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
