You work out of a Hotel?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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