idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
