she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She announced her abortion via fbk
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
