Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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