a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
