dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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