Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
