Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
