ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
