His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize