Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
