Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
