he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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