is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
