guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
