New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
