a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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