I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
