he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
