Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
