dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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