there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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