$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
