you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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