I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
