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she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You did what with his pubic hair?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
