so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
