just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
