I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize