Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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