lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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