how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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