Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
