We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
