I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
