Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
