I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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