small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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