Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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