sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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