Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize