Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
