Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
