The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
